Dragging out the soap box, the preach to the choir.

^{Edited to add a couple of forgotten thoughts...}

I wonder when the world will accept that the internet and the relationships it builds are valid forms of communication and interaction. Here we are,over 15 years past the scandals of meeting people in *gasp* other countries, we have accepted that filling out a form online and paying a fee can find us a soul mate we would have never of otherwise met, and yet we cling on to the idea that a lot of internet usage, is bad.


What sparked this entry? I was sharing an email with a second life friend this morning, and -- as is common for me -- I sort of went off on a passionate treatise on SL vs RL.  Some of it is copy and pasted right out of the email, as they are my thoughts, and invade no one's privacy.  Most of it, has been said by someone, somewhere, before.

I know a lot of people worry about SL taking over their RL,  and in many ways, mine has; if you want to look at it that way. It's easier for me, as my husband is in world also, so he doesn't have many complaints about my being there.  But I didn't have much of a social life before, I spent so much time being frustrated that my husband could always find ways to entertain himself, when I just couldn't.  For a while it was really rough on our relationship, but I accepted it as I do him and tried to fill my own time, how I could, This was called "The Sims 2" and Writing... a lot.

I wanted to RP as he and I have always done, but he being a very tired hard working guy (and, perhaps, under-stimulated) and us never had a group to play with, it just didn't work..  I wanted to be a part of something, doing something and I was doing nothing. (In the past, I have involved myself with everything from the Autism groups, Girl Scouts, even a spiritual group of sorts, and I put my everything into those things, ending up burned out, and jaded for not being appreciated.)

But it wasn't until Second Life that I felt a true satisfaction, and a lot more appreciation, even though helping to run a sim is a thankless job at times.

In Real Life,  I have a disability (or two) Some of my family members do as well. And while it does not define me as a person, it does significantly limit what I can and can't do in this supposed 'real world'  That minority of people out there who have disabilities but can still do everything are a minority because, not everyone can do it, realistically.  Those of us who can't have to bear the additional burden of being super people too, because the few that can, get exposed and become the yard stick by which all disabled people are measured.

but I digress.

In my case, one of the areas that suffers the most, is my social life. The care giving and teaching aspect of my life, make it hard for my husband and I to have much respite and needed time together. Second Life, is for so many people with chronic illnesses and disability, the way they connect with the world, and feel useful.  The way they get so many of the things Real Life denies them. In fact, I am sure that if these folks struggling in Real Life with a life altering challenge told their doctors, care givers, therapists that they were dancing, and visiting exotic places, shopping, crafting things, that they might stamp their patient files "CURED."

But that would never happen because a) medical communities still refuse to see a lot of internet usage as being healthy, or real and b) because those RL limitations exist in the doctors office, where they don't in SL

So, I'm not so sure that SL taking over is such a bad thing, for me and for many. Or that it even takes over as much as it fills a very valid void.  Don't get me wrong, Real Life does come first. Always.  But as long as no one is loosing jobs, or friends over it, if family and relationships are suffering, this might be a clue that there is a deeper cause for that. Non playing partners are probably the biggest faction of people who do call those of us heavily invested in Second Life "addicted." 

But, they have to understand (hopefully) that it is no different than meeting friends RL for RP, or a drink, or to listen to music or go dancing. Some folks live in areas where there is very little to do (I live in a metropolitan area, and it is hard to find interesting things to do here even for the "abled.")

In my situation I figure happy kids, getting what they need, taking care of their education, getting the phone calls made and the errands done, is a good indication that it isn't taking over where it shouldn't

These are the things I want to say to people who worry about getting addicted, or SL taking over.  Are you really addicted, or have you found a way to meet some personal needs that are not getting met? Naturally, if that is the case you want to spend free time doing it. Naturally, it draws you to it.  Is it fear of addiction, or is it fear of finding that niche in a venue, not everyone accepts as a valid form of communication.  Where real relationships are formed.

I know, in my case, the introduction of Second Life into my Real Life... has been a blessing, and from this, I have healed some things about me that were wounded.  I have friends again,  I have a purpose I could never find in a job I can not hold. I have overcome some social issues, by learning how to use this format to adapt to my needs, rather than adapting myself to someone else's rigid and unforgiving framework.

No one, has called me addicted yet, (though they have teased me in good spirits) But someone can call me addicted if they like. I'm going to call myself happy.