Ataraxia in Edit

Lately, my Second Life has consisted of the following:

Being sick in Real Life, which makes me ineffective and inefficient in world. (lots of starting things and then not finishing them. I hate that.)

Trying so very, very hard to be patient. Which is zapping my social energy. Which I hate.

And building/fiddling:

Building/fiddling has become the equivalent to doodling during class. A sort of zen state I fall into that makes me calm, and serene, but a social jerk. I don't mean to shun people socially, I'm not hiding in my alt, so much as I am building her house down to the finest detail. But I find, I need that sort of ataraxia

RP has always been a sort of Ataraxia for me too. I want to be running around and RPing until we all die, because I love our sim so very, very much. This is where the patience part comes in, I can't do much of that until other stuff is done.

Friends of mine (you know who you are) suffer from builders guilt. Which is described to me as feeling as if you could be busy building something, and guilty for not doing it while socializing. I have something similar, I have a social guilt that comes when I am lost in building and fiddling with things.

That's all I have to say about that.

[Edited to add]

I am trying to figure out what goals, if any, I want to acheive when it comes to the things that I build. Do I want to be a merchant, or just create for myself? I'm not so much torn over the subject, as I am confused based on my own fears, desires, actions and thoughts.

There seems to be some sort of satisfaction that comes along with making a product and having it in a shop, and maybe selling enough to make rent. at the same time I recoil from the idea of having to support my products, my relaxation time being interrupted with complaints or requests.

The worst, is a fear that if I make something, and for some reason that script fucks up in the package (It's happened to me before!) I look like an ass and I have to fix it and I might not have the nerve or time.

I opened a group for a store with a cheesy predictable name I might change. I have a shop space rented in RPM. I don't know if I am ever going to use them, if I should get rid of them so I can focus on personal and sim projects only without the pressure of doing nothing.

That's all I have to say about that.

Today... (edited later to add)

I finished the arena. :p  it was a much bigger job than we thought it would be. I must say, I'm mostly happy with it, and there will be a resale version of it. However, I like things I make for the sim to be special for our sim,  so I need to pull a copy up into the sky and tweak it before I put it out there (You know... just like the kiln, and everything else I have ever made waiting to go into my empty shop.)

We are busy as shit!  Trying to get the underground ready to go.

I got the hair... I love it.  I got the wrong hair colour pack though so I had to tint it anyway, but maybe soon I will buy the *right* colour pack.  But I love it. I don't think I have ever loved hair so much.

Now I just have to decide which Goat to get... and decide on a goat name.  Black or Brown? Choices... choices.

(edit)

So,  when is it ok for your ass or your hips to stick out of a prim skirt? Seriously.  Is there a rule I am missing here?  I always spend so much time arranging every little prim around my un-stickfigure-d body  So no part of my ass or hips stick out... but I see so many other people walking around with a tuft of skirt hanging out of their ass cheeks and I can't quite tell if they are dressed badly,  or if they know something I don't.

Nothing hairy about me!

Alas! My life as a potter can begin.



It is nearly finished. Finished enough to go on the ground and be seen by others. Not finished enough to put the wheel out (tweaking that), or to sell. But I do intend to sell it (just the kiln, two versions) as soon as I get a hold of a full perm sound for the door, and a couple of scripts I can't seem to find. Also, a new roof texture.

It's funny how you can have literally hundreds of scripts and not one of them does what you want... or how one script that has the same basic purpose as another, can be so different.



 
This photo has nothing to do with this post, except that I am pleased with the results of the new kid's clubhouse, which is only partially pictured.

Busy busy.

 That;s what I've been.  I am switching (IC) careers,  and much building needs to be done.


While visiting the lovely ladies two doors down, I caught a very sweet picture:








They look pretty happeh.