Of Skin and Trees

When I am depressed, or stressed I either build, forgo logging in, or build avatars just for the sake of building avatars.

This time I am doing a mixture of the three, so the Tree village is going slowly.

And I have been distracted by some avatar building. I've not opened any new accounts, I am just using somewhat neglected alts to try and build 3-d versions of the people that live in my head. (most of whom have never seen the inside of Second life. You see, after years of role-playing, and being a lapsed writer, I have many people I love in my imagination. There is something rewarding about watching them move.

I was pretty successful in making a beloved Argyria-stricken Mountain Elf of my husband's. Said husband then asked if I was going to do his counterpart.

So I thought I would give it a go, and I have learned a few things on the way.

1) I only use two basic skins for my female and child avatars. (one is a template I can make my own from. The other, an awesome group gift.)
2) Most of those skins (that I make) look quite different, as I put them on differing faces. The templates allow for a lot of tinkering and results. However...
3) Those skins are starting to look to much alike.

You see the character I am now trying to build bears just enough similarities to Korinna, (being that they are both female.) that my template made skins look too much like Korrinna to work. No matter what I do to them, when I put them on this girl's face (she has an entirely different face structure on the sliders) she looks too much like Korinna to be individual.

It is very frustrating. I hate the skin shuffle, once I got Korinna's skin down perfectly, I was majorly relieved. People who used to actually read this blog must have been relieved too, because it was all I bitched about.

Which leads me to something else I have learned.

4) While it used to be the other way around, finding skins for females is WAY harder than it is for males.

Do you know why? The products for males caught up just enough that the stores and creators are well known. Most male skins are high quality, realistic skins.

But the female skin market has become so saturated, it's hard to know where to start. And the usual cliche's apply. Loads and loads of makeup, big faking looking bewbies, and lips that are bigger than the bewbies.

I'm really stumped as to what to do, especially since I don't really want to spend any money, and the one skin mall I knew of that had good mania boards has gone the way of many sims... offline.

Anyway, back to the tree village project.

Husband is working hard on making a lift, I have some textures that need making, and to re-texture every poorly textured house. I have neighbors across route 9 now, that also have a tree house. Theirs is better... for now. ::rubs hands together:: I have far more buildings than I shall ever need, but if I want it to look village-y I think I have to keep them.

But in terms of progress, I had a beautiful pirate move a beautiful ship into my little bay, which is a serious boon! I have a zip line to purchase, and many roofs to make. It is coming along, but very slowly. This morning I will head in for a little bit to try and work out some of the issues.

One thing I dread, is I have to take all of the foliage off the tree houses in order to build for now, which is the opposite of what I *wanted* to do. But, there is no way to work around them. After that I will have to replace the foliage a piece at a time. Hopefully this will be a way to reduce prims, I just hope I can do it realistically.

Motivations For Child Avatars Do Not Need To Be Creepy.

I am sort of depressed about my SL lately, I admit.  I find there is always so much to do, and yet there is nothing to do that really inspires me.  Maybe I am having one of those bored-of-Korinna phases, but actually, not really.  I feel sort of limited by Korinna.  I have (what I think) is a cool back story idea, but I would need the help of one of my children (the ones of TOS age.) and they're just not into it.

Lately,  and perhaps oddly, I have been more into playing my Character's daughter, who is only 11 months old.  I am sure plenty of people think I am a freak for that,  but I think I have a very valid (and sane) motivation behind it.

It's really not that I want to be eleven months old again, but there is a certain giddy remembrance of my children when they were that age. Sometimes, we are *inside* of our avatars, but sometimes, we are watching from Camera view, and when it comes to a smaller avatar, the default camera settings always look down,  giving me the feeling as if I am looking down upon a child.

My kids are far from infants now, one is 20 in two days. One is nearly 18, another is a short 13 months younger than he. And my baby is a 13 year old young women. Don't get me wrong I adore my children now that they are older,  we have stimulating conversations, and can share in adult humour.  I love that about us.

But those years when a child is young and innocent truly do not stand the test of time, and memories are precious.  Even though I can not have any more children,  I am one of those crazy ladies who is always a little baby hungry.

So, when I am playing twig,  I find inspiration for her emotes and actions in what I remember my children doing. She is an avatar and a character, and yet she is based on all of my children. When I am playing that avatar, I am having fun, and remembering.  My strange overbearing mothering instinct is fed. I love to dress her up in pseudo classical clothing. and make her toys, and decorate her little room.

My only problem is,  no one is around to baby sit me. And the mother in me who believes in supervised children can not fathom an 11 month old running around without someone to keep an eye on her.  Even if I don't really need it.  Even in the safest place for kids in the world.

I realize now, it was the same when I had my Centaur kid when it started out.  When he was young. I had him at my other favourite age.  I should have kept him there, but at least there I have some closure as I came up for a suitable storyline to write everyone out neatly, and without disrespect to anyone involved. The one benefit of having the older child, though, is I would have had a baby sitter. hehe.  Now I have to find creative excuses when my baby is not around...
When I was SL pregnant,  I didn't do it out of a yearning to be pregnant again.  I did it, really, to prove a point.  That it lasts longer than six days, or six weeks, that pregnant bellies do not talk, that no one puts your pregnancy at risk for standing in your whispering range. That your body tells people when your baby is kicking,  something you can do with your own mouth.  *and* that you could do it for free without loads of scripts that lag everyone else into 2006

Honestly, the limitations and costs of prim babies was a pain in the ass.  This is why I got a Tiny toddler avatar for her instead. Far cheaper, and customizable. When my computer feels like double logging, a mommy follower is all I need, and a gesture that allows me to chat (emote) for her if need be.

But, I digress. I am thinking maybe a smarter-than-the-average- goat and herding sheepdog might make decent baby sitters, in the land of make-beleive.

On Unions and Names

Of all people who should have given a recap of Fadrienne and Thyul's wedding, it is I. I did try, but had a lot of technical difficulty getting Flickr and Wordpress to work together.

So, instead, I will share the link to Chern's retelling on the official blog, which is better than I could have done anyway. And, share Bleizdu's wonderful pictures, as well as my own. (some harmless nudity, so view in an appropriate environment.)

<3

In other news, I too am taking advantage of the display name feature, and turning my name Corinda/Korinda into it's greek root name Korinna. Which allows me to exploit Ovid's lovely poem "Love in the Afternoon" even more than the corruption of it I use for my blog(s) title(s).

Naturally, there has to be some story behind this. Since it is a root name, (no pun intended) I have decided this is her name. With spring approaching, and a little one of her own starting life, she has decided to return to it after long using the knick-name "Corinda" Given to her by old revelry friends, who by now, have pickled their livers.

Why? Well, Corinda is a fantasy Character I have from a Forgotten Realms-esque setting. When my husband found the Seven Isles so many moons ago, I decided it might be a good place for her to live out another tail. The reality is, the avatar/character has evolved into her own person. They both deserve distinction.

Some very close "friends" of ours became engaged last night at our monthly full moon skyclad dance. Sadly Eacen and I "Couldn't make it" and yet, it seems like we were there witnessing the event through another set of eyes!



What better time is there for one to express your undying love to one another,  than when you are bare, at one with nature... and already naked (making streaker photobombs impossible).

However, just about everything that could go wrong during the proposal, did. Starting with the moment the DJ (also the groom to be.  As I said "Eacen" wasn't available) stoped the music for his big moment.  He announced he had a question to ask Thyul,  and yet the response went something like this:

"Hey the stream stopped!"  "Where is the music?" "Can anyone hear the music?" "No!  Toggle!" (Paraphrased... naturally, I forgot to get the log... I mean... I wasn't there to get it verbatim. Yeah..)

The groom was shaken and upset, but decided not to let the moment get him down. He continued.


We... uh. I mean they probably should have known to stop there,  but instead, decided to play music for the crowd, whilst Fadrienne went down on one knee. If for no other reason, than to stop the "Halp!" Coming from the small crowd.

Perhaps they should have paused long enough for "Karma chameleon" to stop playing.

Then, naturally, the animated ring box for the proposal animations malfunctioned, which screwed up the photo op. And also made the "jump hug" I... I mean Thyul did to accept look mighty perverse.

^{This does not properly show the torrid scene,  that one is too indecent to show on a public blog.}

What matters is that they are engaged and planning on a february wedding.  Let us hope that all of the kinks and things that could go wrong happened during the proposal ritual.

Afterwords, they danced, and discovered that the "2nite&4eva" Dance in the intan, already had a perfect animation for the moment.



So uhm, learn from our *their* mistakes, and don't stop the music, choose a good song, and save the $399 Lindens on the dissapointing and un-customizable proposal animator that will make you look like you are humping your partner in front of other people.  I mean, he was happy and all...  but he wasn't *that* happy.

In order to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions at the wedding, the happy couple has decided to get married naked.

I'm not kidding.

.... and another thing

Odd how a crucial part of what you want to say can be completely left out once the momentum of words and typing picks up.  There is something small I meant to say all along in my post from yesterday, about alts.  It was only when I read comments (Mwah!) and re-read the post that I realized I left out something small I meant to say.

"And if I walked around saying "Psst... it's me,  Corinda! lolz" I would be taking away from my own experience. :)  This defeats the purpose.  My closest friends are also on both of my friend's lists, so I can always be reached if I need to be."

I also meant to say that while I do not go around advertising one of my avatar's connection to the other in world, I don't hide it either. :p  Obviously, by talking about it here, and having pictures from both SLs in my flickr.  I probably didn't need to state that, but decided to anyway.

I also forgot to include an alt that is *sort* of an alt for me, but really more like an accessory, and not exactly *my* Alt.  Avry Taurus, was created at a time when we thought it was pretty unrealistic for us to find a possitive parenting situation in Second Life.  Had we known Neria, (the ideal child, really.) was coming along he never would have been made.  Avry, is not always me or Eacen though...  I have a Real life child to whom he really belongs.  But RL kids lose interest in things quickly. Thus, Avry is used when he is needed by who is available.  So for me he doesn't count as an "alt" as such in my opinion.  But even if he did, who cares? It doesn't hurt anyone and it is all in good fun.

So far, this entry utterly lacks grace and is not much more than clumsy explanations.  While Master Teleny made an excellent entry in his own blog about Alts, more specifically, when Gender changes.  You can check it out here (and should! Do eeet now!)

I have my own thoughts to ramble about one day, about genders and avatars, alts or otherwise.  But I am having a hard time putting it into words. (Not that it is a delicate issue for me... I'm all for it. I guess I want to find the right ways to say Male or Female, Real Life or Second Life matters not, as long as you aren't hurting anyone, and being respectful.  More on that another time when I can wax properly.)

"Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin"

I never really blog or post anything on the very public internet that I intend to be profound.  When I do, I am usually just waxing about whatever I happen to be thinking about at that moment in time.

To begin with a quote, of one of the most brilliant people in the universe:

“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin."*.

Alts have been talked to death, haven't they?  And as far as I can tell, there is never going to be an agreement on the "ethics" surrounding them.  Which is why it surprises me, that some people still find the idea of having an alt so offensive.  Let me note,  no specific incident has sparked this thought process, it's just something that vexes me from time to time.

Because let's face it, whether you have an Alt, or you don't, most people on Second Life have at least one. Some people have Alts for business, it's cheaper than paying models when your business is just starting out, for instance, and the use of Alts in business and creation extend well beyond that one example...

Then there are the recreational uses of having an Alt. It seems to me a lot of people believe this is only used when one is being malicous. It has been my experience that the majority of people with an Alt aren't really about having an alternate "Trust me!" mask for when they want to behave like a douche.  I don't think that most Alts are created to spy on anyone, or entrap them, and in the cases when they *are* made for those purposes, that person is toxic in their "main" identity too, and bullshit is going to come out of them sooner or later anyway.  I am even sympathetic to people who have a moment of weakness to the temptation in order to do things they might not otherwise do.

There are merits to having an Alt for recreational purposes that do not involve manipulation of anyone.  Someone might be trying to have a fresh start after their other Second Life left a bad taste in their mouths, or someone was harassing them.  Someone might want to have the presence of an idealized partner, child, etc to match their avatar's personality, without getting involved with an online relationship.  This really doesn't hurt anyone.  Some people just see the opportunity to be more than one person or thing,

I am one of those people. I do have an alt who is quite a bit different to my Main Avatar Corinda.  where Corinda allows me to frolic in my love for ancient mythology, Haru is my gaming nerd outlet for my love of Forgotten Realms, and -- to be bold-- a little bit of expression of my Bisexuality.  Corinda is mostly straight. Haruko, is not. at all.

I know some people feel as if the identity of an alt must be disclosed in order for anyone to truly trust the motives.  I can see the Merit in that,  but doing that also has a way of blending what might be two distinct personalities, and taking the fun out of it.  I have a few friends, for instance, that are so good at knowing their different alt, their whole way of speaking, even out of character changes, and it is truly like speaking to another.

Should I feel deceived?  No. Even if I did not know who else they are? No.  If this game was about being real all of the time, My character would not do flips, and would sometimes walk with a cane when I am having a bad flare.  It's a different reality for me, often times when I am having a terrible day, when I am asked, I can genuinely respond through Corinda as having a good one.  Just because her typist is not having the best day, doesn't mean she is!

I don't know if I achieve that with others, but I do know I feel like a different person from one Alt to another, and I enjoy that feeling.  And if I walked around saying "Psst... it's me,  Corinda! lolz" I would be taking away from my own experience. :)  This defeats the purpose.  My closest friends are also on both of my friend's lists, so I can always be reached if I need to be.

Like I said,  nothing profound to say.  Just waxing on my thoughts when it comes to folks in general getting into a kerfuffle over Alts.  When bad things do go come of it, look at it as another example of bad behavior and not a damning indictment on alts as a whole.  And think about creating one yourself to understand the merits of the experience!

* The rest of the quote which I also love: "..The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him" - Mel Brooks