Limbo

Even though I still check my mail daily, I have not been in world for days. I hate to admit that the reason is probably because I ran out of lindens, when some building projects got stuck. Sad, because those are the things I log in for now? Where are those days when I logged in, in the morning, with a sense of purpose? And again in the evening to reap the benefits of a simple, but sweet, social life and RP life?

I find myself asking, if those days are gone, and have been since January 29th, 2012.

Even though I have land (which I intend to keep) and (we) have put a lot of work into putting an RP worthy space up there, I am feeling numb about it right now. I have no intentions of getting rid of my land, or taking down the build.

But lets face it, the only thing that is there right now, is that build, and probably some confused people. I am not "physically" present, but I am also not present mentally or emotionally.

I am starting to wonder if I just need Asterinissa (what was formerly known as The Seven Isles) to "exist" even if I can't seem to make it live.

On a personal level, It's not a lot of fun, anymore. I love my friends, and enjoyed their company so much I couldn't let go. But so much of that doesn't exist in world for me, so the rewards I felt are non-existent.

Things (in world) are pretty lonely now. I still love Second life and do not intend to leave. But I just don't know if I can run a decent RP on my own. I have to be delighted by it, and inspired by it.

It has been hard to let go. All the work, and creation, and such, it is so precious to me. But where is my inspiration, and my passion? Is it going to come back?

I don't know. In the meantime, I will keep the land and see if it does.